So I’m working on an asexuality 101 thing for my blog

I’m in the process of writing an asexuality 101 page for my blog, to be added as a page in the menu, summarizing different aspects of asexuality, and various concepts related to the asexual community, or often overlap with it (i.e: sex-repulsion, a/romanticism, nonlibidoism), relationships, etc. I know that like many other asexual blogs, this one is written in mind for those who already know of asexuality, and the issues surrounding it, but some other visitors might find it useful.

I also had in mind adding a “rhetoric to avoid” sub-section for most, or every section, highlighting common mistakes discussing them in asexual visibility efforts, within the asexual community, or people outside of it talking about asexuality.

So far, the topics I got started writing about for this:

The definitions of asexuality in English

  • “A person who does not experience sexual attraction”
  • “A person who does not experience an intrinsic desire for partnered sex.”


  • Examples of gray-asexuality

Asexuality and being sex-repulsed, indifferent or favorable

  • How someone feels about having sex is separate from whether they’re asexual or not
  • Estimated percentages of asexuals who are repulsed, indifferent or favorable
  • Rhetoric to avoid:
    • “Real asexuals don’t want sex!” or “Real asexuals are indifferent to sex!” (I doubt that anyone doing 101-level work these days would intentionally say these, but they could be accidentally implied if someone isn’t careful with the wording they use)
    • “Asexuals can enjoy sex” (or rather, this is something to be very careful about explaining, because if done wrong, it can stigmatize those who don’t enjoy sex)
    • Rhetoric that stigmatizes repulsed asexuals, within the asexual community (specific examples?)


  • Ace-ace relationships
  • Mixed relationships
    • Challenges on both sides
    • Power dynamics and societal expectations of relationships
  • Rhetoric to avoid:
    • Any that suggests that exclusive, romantic relationships are THE definition of significant relationship, or suggests that everyone desires, or wants one, not looking into other relationship models as being valid.
    • “Ace-ace relationships, and any nonsexual nonromantic relationships are inherently free of problems, because sex and/or romance aren’t getting in the way.”

Romantic orientation

  • Sexual and romantic orientation are separate things
  • Aromanticism, and how it overlaps with asexuality a lot, though not all asexuals are aromantic, and not all aromantics are asexual
    • Aromantic spectrum, including gray-romanticism
  • Should also mention mixed-orientation non-asexuals? Most of them find out from the asexual community that their own romantic and sexual orientations are different from each other.
  • Not everyone finds the concept of romantic orientation personally applicable or meaningful, including those who don’t distinguish romantic from platonic feelings.
  • Rhetoric to avoid:
    • “Asexuals can desire relationships, or fall in love, just like everyone else!”
    • “Alloromantic asexuals are like straight, gay, bi, and pan people, minus the sexual attraction!”
    • Assuming that romantic attraction, or lack of, is clear-cut, because it isn’t for everyone.

Asexuality in other languages: To show that the way asexuality is defined in English, and in Anglophone countries, isn’t the only way.

History of the asexual community: To show that asexuality has always been around, but visibility for it only began to emerge on a large scale in the past decade, and some trends within the asexual community at different points in its history may explain some of the rhetoric to avoid.

Any other topics, or points you want me to cover for this? I’d like to get this done some time in the next week, because it’ll be Asexual Awareness Week!


2 thoughts on “So I’m working on an asexuality 101 thing for my blog

  1. Pingback: Asexuality 101 part 1: Introduction | Cake at the Fortress

  2. Pingback: Asexuality (and related concepts) 101 part 3 | Cake at the Fortress

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