Since this month, search engines have become one one of my main sources of referrals here. Often times, I don’t know what the search results that brought someone here are (they only display as “unknown search terms”), but there have been times I saw that people found this blog through searching for “non religious celibacy” and “voluntary celibacy”. So, if you found this blog through either of those searches, or any related searches, welcome!
My blog is about both asexuality, celibacy (specifically, the kind that’s voluntary and for non-religious reasons), as well as how they can intersect. For the time being, my blog has predominantly been about asexuality.
I’ve been wanting to write some 101-level material about voluntary, non-religious celibacy, but I’ve gotten stuck from a near lack of input. There’s not much in the way of resources for us either, but I’m trying to do my part. I want to reach out to people of any sexual orientation, who don’t want sex.
Remember that you’re not alone for not wanting sex, nor are you alone for not having religious reasons behind your celibacy. If you don’t want sex, and are not asexual, you’re also not alone, nor if you rejected sex, but don’t identify as celibate!
I’m also part of the asexual community, and very involved in it, but it has bothered me that celibacy seems to be taken for granted, and it’s difficult to actually talk about there. One of the hardest things I tried to explain is how celibacy isn’t simply long-term sexual abstinence, but a sexual identity in its own right, that some people primarily identify with.
I believe that separate spaces are needed. I’ve seen celibate non-asexuals join asexual spaces, because they can relate to feeling ostracized in a hypersexualized society, and that many asexuals also don’t want sex. Sure, they were welcome there, as long as they follow the rules like anyone else, but it’s just not the same, because they were just guests. We, as voluntarily celibate people, need spaces of our own to call home. I feel that way too, because I often feel like I’m just a mercenary serving the asexual community, not actually part of it.
Making those spaces is a challenge though. Whether the non-religious celibate community even exists, is a question that stumped me. I can’t tell if the better option is to push for unification, or to embrace the disjointedness of the “celibate community” and the contradictions between its different factions. There was someone who told me that looking past all the differences in labels and definitions, the most important thing is that we share experiences as outsiders of the sexual world. What are your thoughts?